Freeloading sister cuts contact with 18-year-old brother, comes back 10 years later when he has an inheritance to ask for money: 'She accused me of being selfish'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Oct 20, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

There's nothing quite like an unexpected financial windfall to bring out of the woodwork people who you thought you'd never see again. Everybody wants to be your friend if they think they are entitled to a few dollars (or more) from you, especially when they happen to be family members. No matter what your relationship may have been in the past, all of a sudden it's water under a bridge that's paved with gold. It can cause a real dilemma.

One man faced exactly this when he unexpectedly came into a substantial inheritance from his grandfather. His sister had abandoned him a decade earlier after their parents passed, but she decided to come back into his life when she learned of the money and demanded that he share it with her. It's no shock that he refused her request, but some of his other family members weren't pleased. Luckily, the internet was on his side.

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    10 34760 STATES 10 THIS NOTE IS L FOR ALL DEBTS, PUBLI SERIES 2013 10 Ross bumatati Treasurer of the United
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to share my inheritance with my entitled sister after she cut me off for 10 years?
    via VacationWeary7466
  • 03
    So, here's some backstory. My (28M) older sister (35F) cut me off completely about 10 years ago when I was 18, shortly after our parents died in a car accident. She basically abandoned me during one of the toughest times of my life because I wasn't "mature" enough, and she wanted to live her life freely. No calls, no texts, no support. I had to work multiple jobs to support myself and pay for college, all on my own.
    via VacationWeary7466
  • 04
    Fast forward to a month ago, I inherited a substantial amount of money from our maternal grandfather. It was an unexpected inheritance, but it's changed my life. Suddenly, my sister is back in the picture, acting like we're the closest family in the world. She starts hinting at financial struggles and how tough life has been for her.
    via VacationWeary7466
  • 05
    I told her outright that I wasn't interested in sharing my inheritance, especially after she abandoned me for a decade. She got extremely angry and accused me of being selfish and "ungrateful" because "we're family."
    via VacationWeary7466
  • 06
    AITA for standing my ground and refusing to give her any money? My friends are saying I'm not in the wrong, but a few family members think I should be more "forgiving."
    via VacationWeary7466
  • 07
    Existence Raisin Definitely NTA. She cut you out of her life for 10 years, and now the only reason she has reconnected with you is because she wants your money. If she cared about family, she would have been there for you when you needed her
    via ExistenceRaisin
  • 08
    VacationWeary7466 OP Exactly! If she actually cared about family, she would have been there when I needed her most, not when there's money involved. Not falling for it now.
    via VacationWeary7466
  • 09
    Best-Awareness-9199 That speaks volumes that he didn't include the bad sister. He knew what she did.
    via Best-Awareness-9199
  • 10
    myssi24 If Granddad wanted to leave money to the sis, he would have!!! Saying it again and louder for the back, cause this is spot on!
    via myssi24
  • 11
    SophiaBrahe Anyone who tells you "but she's family" are free to help her by giving her their money. Not by giving her your money
    via SophiaBrahe
  • 12
    PoisonPlushi Give her the names of all the family members who have scolded you and tell her that they'll give her money.
    via PoisonPlushi
  • 13
    becoming_maxine ΝΤΑ She can't play the family card after being NC for over 10 years. Didn't grandfather leave her anything or does she feel entitled to dip into your share too?
    via becoming_maxine
  • 14
    VacationWeary7466 OP Exactly! She can't suddenly play the "family" card now. And nope, my grandfather left her nothing, so she's trying to take from my share.
    via Vacation_Weary7466
  • 15
    Easton_HJE Nope NTA. I wouldn't give her any of it. If she couldn't be there for you for ten years she has no business trying to come back and act like you two are besties.
    via Easton_HJE
  • 16
    VacationWeary7466 OP Right? She can't just pretend everything's fine after 10 years of silence, especially now that there's money on the table. Not happening.
    via VacationWeary7466
  • 17
    HugelnTheShire ΝΤΑ She clearly just want the money, but why didn't she inherit anything? Most grandparents don't leave everything to one grandchild, was she left out or did she blow hers already?
    via HugeInTheShire
  • 18
    VacationWeary7466 OP OP here: Just wanted to add, she didn't even show up for our parents' funerals, claiming she was "too busy with work." How can she claim to be family now?
    via VacationWeary7466
  • 19
    Hawaiianstylin808 Not quite sure how you are ungrateful. I mean she hasn't done anything for you. Selfish. Again she is no contact until she needs something. You are just following her lead by providing her with the exact same level of family responsibility she has provided you over the last 10 years. NTA. Block her on everything.
    via Hawaiianstylin808
  • 20
    Netflickingthebean Nope, please, give her nothing, not even your attention. She showed you how much she valued you already, the only value that changed was the value of your bank account. NTA
    via Netflickingthebean
  • 21
    nycgarbagewh re INFO: how did she find out you inherited anything? Did other family members keep in contact and tell her? I would be wondering what else they've told her over the years.
    via nycgarbagewhre
  • 22
    VacationWeary7466 OP She found out through a mutual family member who thought it was okay to share that info. Honestly, it makes me wonder what else they've said about me over the years. I've been kept in the dark about her life, so it's frustrating to think they might have filled her in on mine.
    via VacationWeary7466
  • 23
    Change2001 NTA. But tell her you will think about it and to get back to you in another decade. Maybe you will have made a decision by then.
    via Change2001
  • 24
    StrangelyEnuf Of course you're NTA here, she is. Let her stew. She's not your problem as she chose her nonfamilial path over a decade ago.
    via StrangelyEnuf
  • 25
    Zona NTA but even if you were, who gives a being an ? I'd have no problems to someone who abandoned me. Also, there must be a reason she was left out of your grandfather's will.
    via Z0na
  • 26
    Apprehensive War9612 ΝΤΑ She abandoned you. Should she have been responsible for you & helped with college so you wouldn't have needed loans? No. She was barely 25 & absolutely entitled to her own life. But to cut you off & pretend you don't exist? To not be there & try to work through her grief and your grief together? That was cruel and made it clear she did not consider you family. She also didn't have much of a relationship with grandpa either since he left her nothing. give her precisely th
    via Apprehensive_War9612
  • 27
    Kris82868 NTA. Your grandfather left the inheritance to you for a reason. If he wanted to leave her something or half of what he left you he would have.
    via Kris82868

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inheritance aita brother grandfather argument family sister reddit thread Reddit money
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